(Mulder and Scully enter a small cafe down the street from the FBI building) Scully: Muldar, what are we doing here? Mulder: I don't know, but I just bought a boat. Did you read that book from yesterday? Scully: Yeah, honestly, pretty quickly, but I didn't really understand it. And why was everything in the book underlined? Like every word? Mulder: Cuz I liked all of it. You know, I heard the Wachowskis really thought they were hitting the nail on the head with that in The Matrix. The Desert of the Real and all of that? Scully: Yeah? Mulder: This guy, this "philosopher extraordinaire", actually spoke publicly about it. Scully: Yeah? Mulder: Apparently, they got it all wrong. Good movies, tho. Especially the second one. Scully: You liked The Matrix: Reloaded? Mulder: Absolutely, Scully. I mean, the Burly Brawl scene is totally about early Internet popups. Scully: I mean, I guess that kind of makes sense. But I mean, even in 2003, the CG looked like absolute fucking shit. Mulder: Scully, take it easy with the profanity. We're on network television. Scully: What? Mulder: Huh? Don't worry about it. Now, Chris said to sit in that booth and we'd get great service. Scully: Who is Chris? Mulder: It doesn't matter. (They sit down) Mulder: So, what were you doing during our down time? Scully: I was moonlighting as a psychiatrist. I only had one patient. Mulder: Yeah, I know, you told me: Mads Mikkelsen, right? Scully: I mean, good guy, but that Hannibal role really took it out of him. Mulder: Who was in the show? Scully: I mean, other than him? A bunch of nobodies honestly. I mean, some guy named Hugh. Uh, God, who else? Fuck, I dunno. Mulder: Scully, language. (The waiter approaches) Waiter: Did you want something? Mulder: Wait, are you Mark Harmon? Waiter: Who knows, anymore. Scully: I mean, I moonlit as a psychiatrist, if you're feeling down. Mulder: You were on NCIS for like 20 years! Why are you a waiter in this cafe? Scully: Especially shitty cafe. Waiter: Well, whether or not I'm that guy is rather indeterminate. But what I can say is this: don't bet all your money on horses and lobster futures. Mulder: Lobster futures? Waiter: Forget it. It's too late now. And CBS refuses to rehire me while I have a gambling problem. Did you want something? Mulder: Steak and eggs? Scully: Black coffee. Waiter: Did you want food, Agent? Scully: Honestly, no. All this talk of lobster futures has me sad all of a sudden. It was a hidden subtext in season 4. Waiter and Mulder: Season 4 of what? Scully: I don't want to talk about my foray into Lobster Futures, ok? (The waiter leaves) Scully: So, this book you gave me. I mean, I read it quickly and all, but like it just left me confused. I mean, honestly, it was all over the place. Talking about simulations and symbolic exchange and death and consumer societies. And to think he wrote this in 1982 before the Net really started... Mulder: Well, since we're in this weird cafe, I'll give you some free advice and you can cover the bill. I was talking to this guy Jeff a long time ago. I was confused, too. This was maybe... gosh, almost 20 years ago now. Scully: Go on. Mulder: Yeah, I saw him in his office. I was flailing the book all over the place and screaming at the top of my lungs about everything. Scully: Ok... (she smiles) Mulder: (he smiles back) And he looked me dead in the face. I sobered up quick. He said: (Mulder gulps remembering) Mulder: He said, "Fox, just read it like Bad Fiction." Scully: Bad fiction? Mulder: Yeah, Dana. Scully: Well, in that case, it makes total sense actually. (They laugh) Mulder: Pretty good read, huh? Scully: Yeah... so what's the mission this week? Mulder: It's just some monster of the week bullshit, no mythology. You wanna skip it? Scully: I think Skinner will probably be a little peeved. Mulder: Oh no, he's fine with it. He said, he'd send some n00bs or something. Vampires, I think? Scully: Oh, ok. Well, they'll at least have a good time. Mulder: So, the town is our oyster. What do you wanna do? Scully: We could hit the shopping mall, I guess. Mulder: Gamestop? Scully: Yeah, I actually just got a PS5, believe it or not. Mulder: Really? Scully: Well, after this long in the FBI, I have a lot of discretionary income, honestly. Mulder: Cheers to that. (He yells) Hey, Mark Harmon, where's my steak and eggs?